Part 5: Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Crossdressers

"Strange," Detective McMarkus said half to himself.

"What is?" Craig and Jill replied nearly simultaneously.

"How many times have you looked at a candle or the sun even, and when you look away there's
that little residual spot burned into your vision? Do you know what I mean?"

Jill Nodded.

Craig said hesitantly, "Yeah I guess so."

"Ok well when I look at this, then look at you," McMarkus had his hands out in front of his face framing his vision, "all I see is you, there’s no distortion at all and I don't get any urge to squint when looking directly at it."

"Ok, so...what does that mean?"

Jill was moving her head back and forth, mimicking the detective's motions.

"I'm not exactly certain, but I do think we should touch it."

Jill stopped, "Really?"

"Yes," the Detective held his hand out, palm facing the light, "there doesn't seem to be any heat emanating from it. I would expect from something this large to at least give off a bit of heat. There's also the matter of what brought me here."

Craig looked over to him, "What brought you here?"

"I received a call," McMarkus said, "On a phone that wasn't mine but had found its way onto my person. The voice on the phone belonged to a woman claiming to be a friend who told me simply to come here." he was slowly moving around the light, "The light also seems to react to how close we're getting to it, the fact that it dims as we approach it makes me believe that we are supposed to."

"So you think we should touch it because of a random ass phone call and the funny little light does tricks when we get close to it?" Jill asked skeptically, her arms now crossed in front of her chest.

"I got a note." Craig interjected suddenly.

"Pardon?"

"What?"

"I got a note," he said again, "I was standing at a party and someone knocked something out of my hand. When I bent down to get it, there was a note telling me to come here."

The two men looked at Jill. She knew their question before they asked it.

"No. I just left work and then all of the sudden here I am standing with you two clowns. No call. No note."

"Do you normally take this route?" The Detective asked, moving closer.

"Not always, just sometimes."

The Detective thought for a moment, his hands on his hips. "Perhaps whoever made the two of us come here was counting on you coming this way. There are clearly three points on that thing which would make me think it's meant for three people."

"Meant to do what though?" Craig asked.

"That's what we'll have to find out. This light, the way it acts, it's like a beacon drawing our attention to whatever that is beneath it."

Jill spoke, "It could be a beacon yeah, but what if that woman is just like...one of those things that draws people to their doom? A doom that's hidden inside that light. A harpy?"

"I think you mean a Syren." Craig said.

"Whatever, if the bitch is trying to draw me to my doom I'll have lots more things to call her."

The Detective shook his head, "No that just doesn't make sense to me. This seems pretty elaborate just to bring some harm to three strangers in the middle of the night. Unless either one of you is famous or a mob boss that is."

"Umm, no." Jill said. Craig simply gave him an odd look.

"Well then I'm inclined to believe that this isn't some harbinger and that the woman meant it when she called herself a friend." He started taking slow steps towards the object, his hand in front of him as if trying to feel a heat that was not there. "We have to see what it is..."

Craig began taking slow steps towards the opposite side from the Detective. The two men looked at each other and nodded as they reached the object. In near unison they reached down and grasped a point of the three tiered object. It was cool to the touch, solid. They attempted to shift it back and forth but there was no movement at all, it was firmly planted in the road.

"Come," Craig said to Jill, "like the man said, three points, three people. It's synergy."
She stood still a moment. Up until this point her night had gone like so many countless others, without event or notice. Now she was standing in the middle of a road, with two men quite badly dressed as women, around a strange glowing object buried in the road. She could turn away and leave the Priscilla Queen of the Desert rejects struggle with something that could turn out to be nothing at all. She could also help them and have it still turn out to be fruitless. The chances of it turning out to be anything at all were probably less than one of these buildings toppling over on top of her. But just that slight chance turned out to be enough to sway her.

She looked to the sky, "I hope this is right."

She moved forward and stood between the two men. She looked first to Craig then to the Detective before leaning over and grasping the center spire. With all of them now holding onto it, they noticed a faint vibration flow through the object.

"You feel that?" the Detective said.

"Yeah, I can feel that." Craig replied.

"I think I regret this already." Jill said.

"We lift on three." the Detective told them as he shifted his weight, preparing to drag it out of the ground with all his strength. "One...”

Jill and Craig planted their feet squarely under them as McMarkus had done.

"Two."

The three inhaled together, deeply and audibly. In almost any other circumstance three people standing around and inhaling like that would have seemed quite comical to them all. Not one of them broke their concentration.

"Three"

They all three lifted, putting as much strength as they could muster into their legs and shoulders to lift it out of its hole. The object however had already since released its grip on the ground. It came out of its resting place quickly and with so much ease that three strangers had no time to counter the sudden cessation of resistance. The object was around 5 feet in length; as soon as it was completely free of the ground it had another much more astonishing reaction for the three. The two sides broke away from the middle in a massive shower of sparks and electricity. They were all blinded by the explosion of light that filled the dark night. The slight vibration had turned into a massive surge of energy that they could all feel tearing through their bodies.
Craig fell backwards almost immediately. Unsure whether he was still alive or had actually been killed at that very moment, he lay completely still staring up at the night sky, watching the few remaining sparks as they floated down to the road.

Detective McMarkus had dove away from the explosion. He lay on the ground, with his face planted in his arms, trying to hide from any further flashes.

Jill had turned away from the explosion, dropping to her knees with her eyes clenched tight. She, as the others, could feel the energy still surging though her body and she feared what might happen should she try to move. In her hands she could feel the cool metal of the object she still grasped. She slowly opened her eyes, trying to see through the blur that clouded her vision. To her left she could make out what she believed to be the man dressed as a hairy school girl, he was on his back seemingly frozen in place. To her right was the fuzzy outline of the Chiquita Banana Man, he was at least moving a little bit, but not much. What she could clearly see through the haze was that they also were still firmly grasping their now individual pieces of the object.

Jill looked down at the piece she held, it felt oddly cold in her hands as she ran her one her hands up and down its smooth length. She was surprised at how light it felt as it seemed to be quite solid though it felt as if she lifted barely more than air when she held it up in front of her face. It was then, as she held it in front of her that she heard a noise coming from in front of her. As she looked past the object in her hands she saw that the large doors of the building in front of her were opened now. There was a dark figure pulling itself up from the ground. For a moment she was worried that there had been a bystander caught in the explosion. Those fears were muted when she saw the figure raise their cloak and toss it aside.

Jill stared in awe as she looked at the man standing in front of her. He was wearing armour all over his body. A dark red chest plate covered the chain mail that ran down his arms and into the golden bracers at his hands. She followed his left hand as it reached across his body and pulled out a gleaming white sword. About his waist was what looked like an armored skirt like they always wear in movies about ancient warriors.  She watched as he looked about the street. First to the man on her left, then to the man on her right, finally he stared at her. His eyes were black as death, his face grim and scarred.

The man shrugged, pausing a moment while he looked her over. It was as if he was confused about something. Finally he reached out his empty right hand towards her. He clenched it into a fist and bringing it to his chest. "Alea iacta est." he said, then raised the sword above his head and leaped towards her.

Part 4: Bonnie and Clyde

The wind was nearly nonexistent at the top of the building where two ravens were silently perched. The black feathers that covered their bodies merged them seamlessly into the night as they stood motionless on the edge of the rooftop. The pair looked at each other for a moment before turning their gaze to the street below. They watched as three people stood conversing around a shimmering object in the centre of the road. Their excited voices echoed up the walls of the surrounding buildings, the concernevident to any who could hear them. Directly across from the birds, they could see the outline of someone wearing a dark hood and cloak also staring down at the scene below them. The person looked almost frozen in place as the long, draping cloak covered their complete body and pooled about their feet. No hint of motion from breathing could even be seen in the cloth. Behind that figure sat a man, spinning something on the floor over and over again as he stared into oblivion. They watched as the three on the street began inching closer to the light in the road. They watched as the hooded figure finally stirred, its hand moving to beckon for the man to come to the window. They watched as he rose and slowly walked over, placing the object he was turning, now seen to be a glimmering sword, back into its scabbard. They watched, and they listened.


The three strangers stood in the intersection looking back and forth between each other and the strange light for what felt like an eternity. In reality it was barely more then two minutes before Detective McMarkus broke the silence.

“I’m going to assume by your reactions to this…thing…and to each other that you have as little knowledge of what’s happening as I do.”

“I’d say that’s pretty much right, for me at least.” Craig said staring into the light. He looked over to Jill who had more trouble finding her voice.

“I…I...uh…I...yeah…I don’t know.”

The detective began moving out from the sidewalk, trying to get another angle on whatever the object was. “What brings you each here at this time of night?”

“Awful inquisitive aren’t you?” Craig asked, glancing over.

“My apologies,” McMarkus said, “I’m a detective with the 3rd precinct so it’s in my nature to ask questions, I do it without even really noticing.

“A detective, right.” Craig replied looking up and down at the man dressed in a grass skirt, coconut bra and what appeared to be a fruit salad headdress.

Detective McMarkus shrugged as he recalled his attire. “This was part of a serious investigation. I had to go undercover at…I…it’s fuzzy for some reason…I can’t recall where it was at right now…but I assure you it was in an effort to apprehend a pair of extremely dangerous criminals.”

Craig raised his hands to the detective, “No no, I’m not saying anything, I’m sure it was a really important…case.”

“You realize you’re dressed as a schoolgirl, correct?”

“Actually it’s Hermione Granger and touché” Craig replied.

“What kind of ranger?”

Craig opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by Jill who’d had her fill of such enlightening conversation, “Ladies! Look at the light.”

As they had been talking they had also been collectively moving closer to the glowing object. As they approached it, the light had begun to dim. When they stopped moving the dimming also ceased as the light held steady again. It was apparent that the decrease of light was relative to how close they were to it. At this distance, they could now clearly see a solid object within the light, coming up out of the ground.

Jill spoke, “No one’s said it so I guess I’ll ask what were all thinking. Should we touch it?”



14 floors above ground, the office for a major investment firm had been under construction for some time now. The rooms were bare, most with skeleton walls and wires hanging from the ceilings. In what was to become the main conference room, a woman stood looking out the large wall to wall window. She was completely covered save for but a wisp of blonde hair that snuck out the front of her black hood. She stood watching the three people on the street below. A man sat behind her in the rooms' only chair, also the only indication that anything there had something to do with office work. He balanced a long, shimmering sword on its tip with one hand, spinning it with his free hand and slowly carving a hole in the concrete floor. He also wore a dark cloak, but the hood was pulled off his head and the front had opened leaving visible some of the leather and metallic pieces of the shirt he wore underneath. At least it would be visible if there were any one else besides her and the mice that were scurrying about in the corner. He didn't see the need for secrecy when there was not a soul around him; he felt keeping covered the way she did to be slightly overdramatic though he kept his opinions to himself. His companion did not take disagreement of any kind lightly.

"Who's the fucking trollip?" Her voice boomed and echoed in the empty room, destroying the silence they had enjoyed for the better part of an hour. Even after so long together she still startled the man when she did that.

He took a breath and collected himself, "Pardon?"

Her hand reached back and she signaled for the man to join her. He stood and slowly walked over to her, placing his sword back into the scabbard at his waist. He looked down but could barely make out more than specks on the ground.

The woman's gaze did not leave the street as she began, "The first two arrived within moments of each other. The third has not arrived yet and now there’s some little witch down there with them." She turned to him, her eyes bright in the hooded darkness, "You will have to go take care of this expeditiously. The third should be here any moment; the girl must be removed from the equation."

The man hesitated a moment, looking into the blackness of the hood always made him think twice, "What if the other two then become...uncooperative? I mean, one of them is a policeman is he not?"

The man swallowed hard as the eyes narrowed inside the hood, glaring at him.

"My dear boy, with the power we're about to offer them, they will forget any notion of their absurd morality in quite short order. Besides," the eyes softened their stare and her head came forward as she kissed his forehead, "what man could ever refuse my will?"

She turned back to the window as the man stood still a moment before turning and heading towards the door. The thought blazed in his head of one who had resisted her, but he quickly erased that from his mind. Any mention of that would insure a swift merciless death. If he was lucky.

"General," she called out to him before he entered the elevator.

"Ma’am." he replied.

"Be swift." she said, her gaze still locked on the street below.

"Always." he said as he closed the door. His concern increasing with every passing moment. Something about this must be seriously bothering her he thought. She hadn't called him that in centuries.